Teenagers, Babies, and Wedding Cakes
by xmenfan33
Summary: Wade and Emma's wedding, envading in-laws, pranks, and Salesmen. Just another week at Mutant Manor. Book Nine of the Babysitting series
1. The Dangers of Moody Wives

ABS9

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution

* * *

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

_The Babysitting Universe, book Nine_

_**Chapter One**_

_**" The dangers of moody wives"**_

_**.**_

John woke to something heavy landing on his chest. Looking down he realized that it was one of his boots ' What the he-' his thought began as he glanced up, then ducked under his pillow as the boot's mate flew at him.

" What did I do now?" He demanded from under the covers.

" You better pray Saint-John that I'm pregnant, or else." Wanda said from the bathroom door.

" What?" John replied, confused both by the early hour, and the randomness of his wife's statement.

" I just spent the last **hour** bent over the toilet. So you better pray that I'm pregnant, or I'm killing you!" Wanda replied, fire in her eyes.

" How would you not being pregnant be my fault?" John mistakenly wondered out loud.

Wanda shrieked in reply, stepping towards him, before turning and rushing back into the bathroom. Thinking quickly, John snatched up the still sleeping William from his cradle, waking the now crying infant, and headed toward the door.

" I'm sorry, Luv. I want to continue this talk, but Will's hungry!" John stated as he walked out of the room, remembering to grab the diaper bag, and his jeans on the way.

He ran immediately into Wade, who was walking down the hall with a huge binder, mumbling to himself.

" Uh hey Wade, what are you doing?" John asked, putting William down long enough to pull on his jeans, and throwing his sleep pants into an alcove.

" Wedding preparations." Wade began, looking up and shaking the binder at John " We are behind, so very very behind!"

" It's five in the morning, how're you behind?" John questioned.

Wade visibly paled, setting the binder down every bit as gently as John had his son, Wade grabbed John's shoulders and shaking him stated " 5AM! IT'S 5 AM ALREADY?! I'M FURTHER BEHIND THAN I THOUGHT! I HAVE TO BUY A SUIT AT 6:30, I HAVE TO MEET THE FLORIST AT 7! I HAVE TO REMEMBER NOT TO BUY ANYTHING EVEN REMOTLY RESEMBLING STRAWBERRIES! IT TO MUCH! LOGAN'S TAKING CARE OF THE FOOD,GUESTS, DECORE, I. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT! I'M BEHIND * sobbing* I'll never catch up at this rate! I need help, much, much more help."

" Um , well.." John begins, trying to think of a way to get away from Wade.

" REALLY?! YOU'LL HELP?! Thank you! I need you to put up these fliers for me, I'm so grateful, it shouldn't take you long, I only made enough to use up a package of typing paper so there can't be more than 500 of them. If I'd had more time, I would have been better prepared. But I didn't and now it's running out, and I ran out of ink in the printer, and Emma's busy with Megan who needs a less girly name, and she still has a bunch of stuff to do, and when I knocked to ask Remy for help, I'm pretty Rogue threatened to eat me but I couldn't really tell because her accent is so thick when she's sleepy, and Logan went for a run, A RUN! like we have time for that. He said he had to take care of business..what could be more important than the wedding, which we only have 12 hours left until we need to begin, wait no !I just wasted the last 15 minutes talking to you! Hey could you pick me up some more ink? Thanks, I really must be going, sorry to cut you off like this, but it's a busy day and all, Ta-ta."

John stared dumbfounded at the retreating man, wondering what was wrong with him, before sighing and picking his son back up. William had fallen back asleep and was not happy to have been woken a second time. Wanda suddenly yanked open their door and snatched William from his arms .

" Jeeze John! If you didn't waste so much time chatting with Wade we could all be back in bed already! and what the heck was up with taking Will anyway? HE'S BREASTFED! " Wanda stated, before slamming the door. A moment later he hears the lock fall into place, and sighs.

Picking up the fliers, he heads off to hang them, clearly he wasn't welcome back in his room right now. Looking down he realized he didn't have his boots. Cringing at facing the wrath of either his wife or his sister-in-law, John quickly decided that borrowing a pair of shoes from Remy would be safer.

He quickly knocked of the LeBeau door. It opened a moment later to a glaring Remy " What?!" he hissed.

" Wanda went mad, can I borrow a pair of shoes?" John replied.

" Fine. But Wanda's always mad." Remy replied. he shut the door, and John cringed at the sounds from the other side, before it reopened and Remy shoved the boots at him.

" I expect them back. You owe me for wakin my wife." Remy said, then slammed the door.

_God everyone is in a bad mood today._ John thinks as he pulled on the boots and walked away.

~o~O~o~

Remy climbed back into bed, on to be rudely pushed back out of it. " What de hell?" he demanded.

"Ya better make sure that door is locked, and put up the no knocking sign, or just don't botha to come back to bed! That was the third time one of _**your**_ friends knocked!" Rogue replied.

"... You knew Logan first!" Remy replied as he set out the no knocking sign and relocked the door.

" _**And**_ John thinks y'all are brothers." Rogue replied.

" How is that my fault?" Remy questioned, before climbing back into bed.

Rogue burst into tears. " I'm so tired. The baby won't let me sleep , then I finally drift off, and Oli needs me, then your stupid friends keep stopping by. Any minute now Kaitie's gonna be up, and I haven't slept! So don't whine to me bout John being crazy" She said between sobs.

" It's okay, Cher. I take the kids out ta breakfast, you just get some sleep. Then you'll feel better. Don' worry none." Remy said as he gets dressed and gathered the children's things.

" T-t-thank you " Rogue sobs. then wails " I'M A BAD MOMMY."

" No you aren't you're a great Momma. You need sleep cause your human, and your growin' a person, which takes more energy. But dat don't make you a bad mom. And 'sides, it just gives me an excuse to show off our wonderful children. " Remy replied, before getting the babies up, hugging his now calm wife, and walking out of the door.

_I had nearly forgotten how crazy pregnancy makes her_. Remy thought to himself, as he headed towards the garage, to take them out for breakfast. He runs into a harassed looking Wade on the way, who demanded to know where Remy was going, and made him promise to be home by 4 pm. Remy have every intention of being home long before that anyway.


	2. Logan prepared

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

_**Chapter two**_

_**" Logan prepared"**_

Logan had happily gone for his morning jog, showered and was on his way to town before everyone, but Wade, was up this morning. He had knocked on Rogue's door, on the way out, to ask if Remy wanted to come along. He'd decided however, not to bother when he had heard a growl that sounded remarkably like himself from the other side.

" What?!" Rogue demanded, not bothering to attempt polite, she doesn't believe in politeness before sunrise.

" I needed ta talk ta Gumbo for a sec." Logan replied, trying ( and failing) to sound like it was business related. Which would have been easier if he wasn't walking around with his wedding binders and cloth swatches.

" He's busy. Come back when the sun has risen." Rogue replied shuting the door.

Sighing, he then headed toward the garage, and was ambushed by Wade, who was carrying even more wedding binders. Wade spotted him, and the keys in his hand.

" Where are you going? We only have 13 hours until the wedding, and everybody is still inbed, and I still need to take care of the suit and the flowers and the fliers and have you taken care of-"

" I have Wade. I've taken care of everything else. I have to run a quick errand, and then I'll be back. Don't worry, everything is ahead of schedule already...Wait! Did you say the suit? YOu were to pick up the suit yeserday. How were you not able to pick up the suit. How could this happen? Now how are we to remain on schedule with the suit missing? They had better have the suit ready when you get there. When are to pick it up? Should I grab it while I'm out? No! what if they need to adjust it. That will never work. Luckily Emma's comepletely ready, because the dress would be an even bigger complication. She is ready right? Wait how would you know? It's bad luck for you to even ask. I'll go check before I head out. Don't worry I'm sure everything's fine. I need to run this one quick errand, but then everything else but the suit is on schedule. When are they delivering the flowers?"

" FLOWERS?! I thought Emma had taken care of the flowers! I need to go to the florist! They open at ( looks it up on his phone) 7 am , I'll go over there on my way back from picking up my suit. I'll just take the van and bring the flowers back with me. This is aweful! Everything is ruined. How could I have overlooked the flowers? I'm terrible. I need to go. I'm going to go see if Remy will stop by the flower shop for me, then we'll be back on track."

" No yo-" Logan said, but Wade had already taken off. Shrugging and secretly glad it wasn't him, Logan headed toward the garage again. Now adding things to his list of errands this morning, including the flowershop. Because clearly they needed flowers, they were in the binder, but they had been overlooked, somehow. He knew they should have pulled more people into the preperation. It was too late now though.

~o~O~o~

Logan arrived at the flower shop at exactly 7:05. He quickly walked in, after pounding on the door, until the florist opened it. She was running a little behind this morning, so hadn't unlocked the door yet. She never had customers this early in the day.

" Okay. I ain't got time to look around, so I'll just read the list, and you grab it, okay?" Logan stated pulling a notebbok out of the binder. The woman nodded as he grumbled to himself about the schedule beginnging behind.

" Okay. We need 5 dozen white roses, 2 dozen queen ann'e lace, 3 dozen babys breath. Then we need 4 white rose lapel pins, and 4 white rose bouquties. Do you have that on hand?" Logan demanded, rapidly. The woman nodded and quickly through his order together. He paid, and she sighed with relief when he pulled away.

A few minutes later, a second crazy looking man with a binder rushed into the shop. " Okay. I'm sorry I don't have time for pleasantries, or to look around. I need 5 dozen roses,white. 3 dozen baby'sbreath, and 2 dozen queenannes lace. I also need 4 bouqutes and4 lapel pins, both in the white roses as well."

"... I'm sorry sir, we are out of White roses, we just used the last of them this morning. However I have a lovely light pink, it is nearly white, the shade is so pale." The woman stated, holding up a rose as a sample.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH" Wade screamed " EVERYTHING IS RUINED! MY WIFE TO BE IS CALLED THE** WHITE QUEEN** NOT THE SO SOFT PINK IT'S NEARLY WHITE QUEEN! THIS WILL NEVER WORK. WE ONLY HAVE 10 HOURS UNTIL THE WEDDING AND WE CAN'T GET THE RIGHT IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND I WAS EXPERIMENTED ON! THIS IS JUST RIDICULAS, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THIS MIGHT WORK? wHAT KIND OF TRAINING DO THEY GIVE YOU PEOPLE ANYWAY?! AND hey those may actually work, that really is a very light shade of pink isn't it? would you wrap it up for me, thank you so much hun."

She quickly prepared his order, then sent him on his way, but before she could lock the door, another man, with a forien accent walked into the store.

" May I help you sir?" She asked with much hesatience.

" Yes please, I need 4 dozen white roses... crap I forgot the list. Okay I know it was four dozen white roses and a bridal flower thingy, the one they throw."

" I'm sorry sir. We ran out of both white and pink roses just this morning. I can offer you either red roses, or pink tulips."

" hmmm. I don't think she likes red, plus red really isn't her color, on the other hand they did say roses, they've been talking about it all week so I'm pretty sure they decided on roses. ZBut red just won't work, do you have any other colors in your tulips? ah yes I see them here now, let's see maybe if we mix the colors she would like them better? I hope so because I really don't need a second woman made at me for something that I still don't really understand. My chest still hurt where my boot hit me this morning, oh well you don't care about that. Okay let's see go ahead and make me four mixed set each with four red roses, four pink tulips, and 4 yellow tulips that should work. hope, go ahead and take your time, I'm really in no rush to head home and get yelled at again. Maybe while I'm here I should get My Wanda some flowers. Oh I like those ones over there, they remind me of fire, go ahead and add a dozen.. no two dozen of those to my order. GO ahead and rush, becuae I really do need to head home now, Thank you.

She quickly made up the man's order add locked the door behind him, deciding that she really should take the day off.

~o~O~o~

The three men all arrive home about the same time, and are unloading the vans.

" Wait! Did we all buy flowers?" John asked, setting aside Wanda's.

" Looks like it, but why didn't y'all get white? John yours aren't even roses.

" They were out. I had a very nice conversation with her about it and she talked me into these pink ones. They really are very close, maybe we should altenate them on the tables at the reception." Wade supplied.

" We are placing candles at the recieption. But we could use them around the public room to help decorate them for the wedding." Logan replied.

Julien and Jamie walk up, Julien asked " What's going on?"

" We're trying to decide what to do with the extra flowers." John replied.

Maybe you could burn them..or turn them into a cake." Julien suggested.

" No that wouldn't do...I'm like 20% sure that's the wrong kind of flour." Jamie added.

" Are you sure? They sound the same, and they smell nice, I just assumed..."

" FLOUR?! Do we have enough flour?" Wade asked, panicked.

" Wade we ordered the cake. It'll arrive this afternoon." Logan patted the other man's arm.

" But why are they different?' Julien persisted, Jamie having already walked off before they could make him help.

" THe kind you bake with come from wheat." John stated.

" WHAT?!" replied Julien and Wade.

" No wonder my cake tasted wrong." Julien replied.

" Why are we still talking about this?" Wade asked.

" It don't matter. Julien go find something not destructive to do, you two let's get the flowers inside. Whatever ya do don't let Storm see them. She flips out over cut flowers. That's why they usually aren't aloud." Logan stated as they all separate, Logan very relieved to separate from Julien's insanity.


	3. But Why

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

_**Chapter three**_

_**" But... Why?"**_

Wade realized suddenly, around nine am, that no one had come downstairs yet, nor had the teachers arrived in the staff room. He immediately realized that the calling off of classes had caused everyone to sleep in. The idea of everybody sleeping caused some sort of break in Wade's head.

Fifteen minutes later, the majority of the household was standing on the front lawn while Remy, John, Logan, and Wade aired out the mansion, Wade having set smoke bombs off to get everyone out of bed. He learned later that no one had still been asleep, though there had been a line for the shower... He announced he regretted nothing.

While everyone was being sorted back out, no one noticed Mystique casually walk up to the front doors, or walk into Rogue and Remy's room. So they were absolutely shocked when they arrived to get the kids down for a nap, ten minutes later.

" Hello." Mystique said.

Causing Rogue to scream, Kaitlyn to cry, and Remy to state " What the Hel-ck are you doin here?"

" Helck?" Rogue asked, calm again, and Remy nods to Oli in his arms.

" Right. What do you want Mother?"

" I can see I'm not welcome here. I'll just go. As soon as I visit with my grandchildren awhile, don't let me disturb you." Mystique replied, while attempting to hand Kaitlyn an oversized chocolate sucker.

Remy snatched it away from her, not trusting her to give the children anything, and said " Why are you here?"

" I wanted to see my children, is that a crime?" Mystique replied, looking very annoyed.

" Breakin in is." Remy replied.

" You'd be the expert on that." Mystique replied snidely while trying to have Kaitlyn a second sucker.

"Yes., you would know since you and you husband had once been my employers." He says, crossing his arms.

" Just because you're ignoring your contract doesn't mean it's void."

" I. quit. YEARS. ago."

" Details." Mystique said waving off the remark.

" What did you want, exactly Mother?" Rogue interrupted, guessing that this could go on for a while otherwise.

" I wanted to give the children a present. Here." Mystique said, handing Remy a box she had set on their bed. The box immediately mewed, and shifted.

Remy slowly opened the box, concerned at what he would find. Inside sat three Kittens. One was grey and white spotted, one was grey and white striped, and the third was just grey. Rogue leaned over to look into the box when Remy hadn't said anything. She then looked at her mother, with complete confusion.

" What?" Rogue asked.

" I brought one for each child, I left an orange one over in Wanda's room." Mystique replied as if it explained everything. Which she seemed to think it did.

" But...why?" Remy questioned, still staring into the box.

" Because Grandmothers are to spoil grandchildren. It said so in all five of the books I read." Mystique answered._ Plus pets are against the rules so you'll have no choice but to come home finally!_

" Uh... thanks. " Rogue replied. Logan walked in (thankfully) at that moment, having overheard them and knowing that someone else was there.

" Alright! Who left the gate open?! This is almost as bad as the salesmen. If there are any salesmen wandering around, there's going to be extra danger room sessions for everyone! Raven, you have to go, we are already behind schedule. I don't care what you're up to, it needs to wait until til tomorrow." Logan stated while clutching his binder to his chest, looking frantic.

"... Okay!" Mystique replied brightly before walking out of the door.

"...Do I want to know what she was doing here?" Logan asked after she left, divided between worry for the schedule, and worry of the villain.

Wordlessly Remy held out the box, and Logan hesitantly looked in.

" KITTENS!" Logan yelled, dropping the binder as he picked up one of the kittens. " I _**Love**_ kittens! They may be the world's best pet! Since I bent the rules for that horse we call a dog, I see no reason to get rid of these little fuzzballs. Cats are great pets, they are mostly quiet, keep out pests, and are so fluffy!"

Logan then did something that terrified the LeBeaus, he cuddled the kitten to his cheek and with the scariest baby-talk voice they ever heard he stated " Who's da sweetest lil baby? Dat wight are, yes you are!"

" She left one for Wanda too." Rogue supplied, pleased they were keeping the kittens, not that she would ever tell her Mother that. Plus she was rather concerned with Logan's mental health and would prefer he was away from her children until he recovered from this hopefully temporary condition.

With that Logan placed the kitten back into the box, picked up his binder, and rushed out in search of the fourth kitten.

" I think the stress is getting to him. For a moment there he sounded like Wade...or Jamie." Rogue stated with a shudder.

" The whole thing was creepy. C'mon we better decide where to put them before we have to get the kids ready for the Wedding.

~o~O~o~

Wanda and John had not yet returned to their room, instead taking a side trip down to see Hank. John wanted to know for sure if his death was coming, and Wanda wanted to be sure she really was pregnant.

" Congratulations. You are indeed expecting another child." Hank said, reading the test results.

John was both relieved and overjoyed, he really had begun to worry his wife had intended to hurt him. They went quickly back to their room, to put William down for his nap and get ready for the wedding.

Logan was waiting impatiently at their door when they arrived, anxious to see their new kitten as well. He was bouncing from foot to foot, impatiently making come on gestures when he saw them.

" Ya know, ya have a toilet in your bedroom." John stated.

"… What? Never mind! Hurry up and unlock the door I wanna see it!" Logan rushed out.

" See what?" Wanda asked, crankily.

" The new kitten, of course!" Logan stated as John unlocked the door.

" We don't have a kitten." John replied, as Logan pushed past them.

He rushed forward, kneeling before the box, and picking up the tiny kitten. They watched in growing horror as he repeated the performance from earlier. Slowly the Allerdyces backed out of their room, silently hoping that Wade would come along and distract Logan….or a group of Mutant haters. Because Logan was clearly insane.


	4. Why it's in the Book

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Four_ **

**" _Why it's in the Book"_**

**_._**

The flowers had been arranged all over the ground floor of the mansion, but heaviest in the Foyer and Ballroom, where the reception would be held. Logan had recruited several of the teenagers to help set up the wedding.

So Angelo and Everett were busy dispersing the flowers, while Josh, Victor, Laura, Paige, and Jonothon were setting up chairs in the garden for the wedding. Logan had also assigned Megan, Lorna, Cessily, Sarah, and Illyana to string little white lights over all of the trees and bushes, as well as the arch that he and Remy had placed yesterday.

The teens were grumpy already over the assignments, as they grumbled to each other. Josh and Victor were arranging the chairs, while Laura stood at the front of the aisle directing them, Jonothon and Paige had helped unfold them and then mysteriously disappeared.

Megan stood on a ladder hanging lights in the trees, while Lorna unwound them. Cessily was on a ladder with the arch, while Illyana unwound and Sarah was doing the bushes. Logan came out, just then, with a binder in his arms and his hair standing on end. Which really is an impressive feat, considering his hair is never calm.

" You, in the trees, You're clumping the lights to close together! Bushes girl, they are too far apart. Chair boys, good work, you may take a short break, but be back in ten to place those ribbons. Arch girls, help chair boys when they're ready." Logan stated, not bothering with anyone's names.

He was far to busy keeping the schedule on track to deal with pleasantries like remembering which kid was which. He had spent the last twenty minutes searching for "the Js" as the kids referred Julian and Jamie. The pair had usually started some sort of trouble by this time in the day, so Logan was concerned they had slipped off the grounds. The last thing he needed was for the police to show up over one of their fights. Again. It would completely throw off the schedule.

He was about to ask if Laura had seen That Boy, when suddenly there was a loud clap of thunder, followed by a torrential downfall of rain. Logan didn't have time for this! It would completely ruin the schedule! Plus, it wasn't supposed to rain today. Turning on his heel, he marched back toward the house, as the children ran by, already soaked, and a second thunderclap sounded.

Inside, Everett and Angelo were cowering in the corner off the ballroom, as Storm flipped out over the vases in their arms. They had never been more frightened, not even during Wade's 'sex talk'. She levitated slightly off the ground, hair whipping in fury, eyes white, as she pointed at the nearly completed centerpieces.

" _**Who**_ brought these abominations into the house?! Who's negligence is responsible? Why would you harm these innocent plants to decorate this travesty of a wedding?! Why-" Storm ranted, cut off by Remy, with Kaitie on his hip.

" Shut up, and knock it off Mother Earth! It's a wedding, of course there are flowers, you freak of nature. Darn tree huggers destroy everything, trying to help. Get over it, they didn't cut you're stupid precious flowers, they bought them. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANET THIS INSANE!" Remy stated.

" _**You**_ do not understand-" Storm began, facing Remy.

" No! You don't understand! You don't understand what it's like trying to keep a cranky toddler, a sleepy infant, and a pregnant wife happy in a house full of insane people! Oli was taking a **nap**! But do you care?! Oh no, of course not! Who cares if you've terrified and otherwise traumatized a houseful of infants and children! Because someone brought in **flowers** for a **Wedding** ! Do you have any idea how insane that is?! I don't give a damn if you're connected to the Earth or whatever, the children here in this school should be you're FIRST priority!" Remy raved, adjusting his daughter to his other hip.

A silence fell upon the room. No one ever had questioned Storm's logic regarding her flowers. No one had ever even heard someone contradict her. However, Remy was head of student affairs, and though the kids were pretty sure this meant that Remy had no authority over other teachers, they weren't sure.

The standoff was broken when Kaitie stated simply " Dam".

There was a collective gasp, as Remy first looked down at his daughter, then over at Storm, anger clear on his face. Everyone who had run in to see what was happening when Storm had started yelling took a step back, as Remy glared.

" NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!" Remy screamed, livid.

Everyone stepped as far away from the adults as possible, as Logan and Wade walked into the room, binders in hand.

" We do not use that word, Sweetie. It's bad." Remy said in a far softer voice to his daughter as they left the room.

" And this is why Cut Flowers are in the Book." Logan stated, as Wade stormed over to the trouble maker.

" Look whatever your code name is, Flowers are in the binder so they stay, end of debate. You need to watch what you say around Ninja Slayer, because I won't have her corrupted with your gutter talk. She is far to young to be hearing such language from someone who's supposed to be a role model. That's absolutely ridiculous. Plus you just threw the schedule completely out of whack with your little potty mouthed tantrum. I swear you are trying to drive me insane! But it won't work. Today is my wedding day and I won't be derailed by some hot-tempered ill-behaved woman having a tantrum." Wade ranted.

" She called it a 'travesty of a wedding', you know." Everett supplied, offended still over her outburst.

" SHE WHAT?!" Wade screamed, turning back to Storm….who had already, wisely, slipped away. Thankfully taking the thunderstorm with her.

Logan looked around at the mostly finished ballroom, then his checklist and demanded everyone get back to work, he wasn't going to allow one little tantrum destroy the entire day. Plus, if he could manage to get ahead of schedule he could go back and play with the kittens again.

The crowd dispersed, everyone returning to their assigned duties, while Logan once again returned to his search for the missing boys, who were clearly trying to avoid their assigned chores. All he had asked them to do was walk Tiny and clean her cage. It wasn't like he asked for something big.

Grumbling to himself about the schedule, kittens, and work shirking boys Logan wandered off, Wade trailing behind him, shaking his head at the check list. They were terribly behind. The ballroom should have been finished ten minutes ago, and Kaitie was supposed to be eating lunch! How they were going to finish on time with all these interruptions, like those smoke bombs earlier. Who's bright idea was that anyway?! They spent the whole morning trying to get rid of the smell.

~o~O~o~

Remy returned to the room, still fuming, as Rogue stepped out of the baby's room, shushing him. Nodding, he set Kaitie into her highchair and gave her a handful of cheerios to hold her over until lunch was ready in a moment. Not for the first time, Remy wished that the new apartment suites were finished. Though feeding Kaitie her lunch in their room had become a chore, after all they still had to retrieve it from the kitchen, they had decided it was worth it to skip the chaos of the dining room once a day.

The apartments should be ready this time next week, and then they would have more room. They also would be able to eat separately from the household every meal they weren't assigned monitoring duty. Rogue was just as anxious to be moved. Their suite seemed to get smaller all the time, and now with the addition of three kittens, it felt overflowing. As they sat at their little card table dinning set, (that they used so they could store it away, it was right next to their bed) Remy explained what had happened in the ball room.

When he got to the part with Kaitie repeating a certain word Rogue jumped up and left, in search of the woman who had started the trouble. No one was allowed to corrupt her children! Storm was going down.


	5. Uninvited Guests

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Five _ **

**" _Uninvited Guests"_**

**_._**

Everyone was busy, buzzing around the mansion and trying to get ready for the wedding in three hours. Jessica and Doug were in the foyer. Logan had asked them to set up a table to put leaflets and visitor stickers, when someone knocked on the door.

Rolling her eyes, and assuming someone had left the gate open (again) Jessica opened the door. On the other side stood a blond teenage boy and a swaying man in glasses. The younger one appeared embarrassed, however the elder just looked irritated. He appeared like he may not feel too well either.

Because he looked vaguely familiar, Jessica said. " Um can I help you?"

" Yeesssssssssss. I *urp* need t' soke to Jean." The swaying man said.

"…I'm sorry?"

" Jean.. Dean Greg."

" Oh. Do you mean Professor Grey?"

" That's what I said! Dean Greg."

" Okay, hold on." Jessica replied shutting the door.

" Who is it?" Doug asked as he set out the last of the leaflets.

" I donno. Some drunk guy." Jessica replied as she pushed a button on the intercom. She told Logan and Jean that some drunk guy was at the door for Jean, and they both stated they'd be right there.

Jessica turned around to go back to the door, and screamed when Drunk Guy was right behind her. Doug whirled around to see what had happened, while feet could be heard running from all over the house.

" You can't just walk in here! That's breaking and entering!" Douglas stated as he moved to stand beside Jessica.

" Nope. I has a key. See!" Drunk Guy stated, holding out his key ring, while Young Guy shook his head.

Luckily, Jessica and Douglas didn't have to think of a response to this as Jean, Logan, Wade, and Julian arrived. Others still are coming.

" VIOLATOR!" Logan yelled at the same time Jean growled " Scott."

Remy and John burst into the foyer, as Wade suddenly realized who is standing there.

" Violator. You are not allowed to be here. You no longer live here, we kicked you out..or were going to when you ran. Today is _**not**_ a good day for your violating antics. We are far, far to busy getting ready for the wedding." Wade stated.

" Tha's why I's *urp* here! I cant let Jeannie marry Wade, hes cwazy." Scott replied, as Jean rolled her eyes, Logan growled and Julian slipped away. ( He was still avoiding his chores.)

" I'm. not. Emma is." Jean replied, irritated. " Even if I was, it would be none of your business! I could be marrying Logan, for all it would matter to you. We broke up, over a year ago!"

" You're marrying Red?" Wade asked.

" No, She was making a point." Logan growled. " Violator. You will leave and return your key on the way out."

" HEY! Yous can' tell me wha t' *urp* do! Yous not m' teaching anymore. Girlfried steels." Scott replied.

The younger man, also known as Alex Summers, or the most patient brother in Hawaii, sighed and grabbed Scott's arm. " I'm sorry. When I came back to our hotel suite he was like this. And waiting for a cab. I only came with him, so that I knew where he was."

" It's fine Alex, his stupidity isn't your fault." Jean replied calmly, she had always liked Alex.

Scott whirled on his brother, glaring. " Hey! Stop tryings ta sell my friendgurl. Yous my brudder but I's kisk yous face!"

" Scott, you left her. And I'm _**not**_ flirting with her!" Alex said, his patience finally reached.

" We don't have time for this, the wedding is in just a couple of hours and there is still far to much to do. Exs are not in the binder! If they aren't in the binder than they can't be here. You are going to have to leave, come back tomorrow when we aren't so busy if you need to, but you can't stay today. This is ridicules ! We just wasted ten minutes on this and are now behind schedule." Wade stated, looking through the binder to be sure he was right about ex's.

Remy and John stepped forward with a sigh. " C'mon Scotty. Let's get ya in a cab." John stated, grabbing Scott's arm.

" You really should leave, you aren't even making any sense right now." Remy added grabbing his other arm.

Logan opened the door for them, just as Magneto was about to knock, Mystique standing beside him.

" What are you doing here?!" Logan demanded, convinced the schedule was completely ruined at this point.

" We're here for the wedding of course." Magneto replied.

" Emma was my step-daughter for a while, after all." Mystique added.

In the chaos that descended from this statement, Scott slipped away from Remy and John and disappeared somewhere upstairs. They were both to busy ,shuddering at the idea of yet another sister-in-law to notice at first. Rogue and Wanda, who seemed to have some sort of parent-alert radar, began screaming, as they had walked up just as Mystique announced this. Emma shuddered, having just come down to see what was going on. Wade, realizing Emma was here, screamed and covered his eyes before running out of the room ( hitting the wall twice before making the doorway.)

Kurt, who had just arrived, fainted. Logan growled. Lorna clapped at the idea of another sister, and then, when everyone had settled down, Emma denied it.

" It doesn't count as a stepparent, when the person in question was only in your home for six weeks. While they pretended to be your mother!" Emma stated with a glare.

" Minor Detail. Though it is why your Megan didn't get a kitten too. If you would like, I can bring her a kitten tomorrow. I still have a few left in the kitten room" Mystique answered.

" While you're at it, Wanda's pregnant again too. Wait! I mean, get out of here." Logan stated.

" We will not! Parents are always allowed at weddings, no matter how annoyed the children are with them. Look it up, I'm sure it's in your binder." Magneto replied.

Grumbling, Logan looked through the binder. Magneto was right. Also, the binder didn't allow exception for shape shifting stepmothers who were technically impersonating the real mother, therefore never legally the stepmother to begin with. Logan made a note to fix this oversight in the future. However, for today, they would be allowed to stay. Much to all of their children, and their spouses, annoyance.

Emma returned to her room to finish getting ready, joined by Rogue, Jean, and Wanda who were her bridesmaids. John and Remy returned to their children, getting them ready for this afternoon. Wade came back into the foyer to demand that the couple not cause any trouble, and the teens returned to finishing their chores, Alex offering to help. For the moment, everyone had forgotten Scott. It did however, occur to Wanda and John a few minutes later, to ask how Logan had known about the new baby. They hadn't told anyone yet, having been too busy today.


	6. The Wedding

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Six_ **

**" _The Wedding"_**

**_._**

Everything was going remarkably smoothly, all of the guests had arrived, and without Wade on the door, the caterers were allowed in without issue. They started just ten minutes late, though those ten minutes nearly gave Wade an aneurism and Logan was convinced he had had another stroke. The priest, Kurt, began the service without any delays or interruptions, and everything was going according to plan. So of course that couldn't last.

It started when Scott finally remembered where to backdoor was, and lumbered down the aisle, screaming for Jean _**not**_ to marry Logan. A statement that confused nearly everyone there. He had made it three quarters of the way down the aisle, when Jean stood forward, and screamed. " I'm _**not **_getting married! Emma is!"

At this Scott stopped a moment, before yelling. " Emma don't marry Logan!"

Logan then tackled Scott running from his potition next to Wade, while Emma screamed that she was marrying Wade. Kaitie, who was the flower girl, began to sniffle at all of the yelling. Kitty comforted Oli and Will who were sitting with her, while Poitr attempted to keep Megan and Nathan quiet so their father wouldn't notice them. Remy bent down next to his daughter, he was a groomsman, to quiet her, while Emma and Jean glared.

Finally, with the help of several of the male students, Logan wrestled Scott away from the yard, locking him in one of the offices for now. He then calmly returned to the wedding party, who then turned to Kurt. They continued one as if the interruption hadn't occurred.

A few minutes later, just before the end of the ceremony, they were interrupted again, this time by Emma's mother, who had finally recognized Mystique as the woman who had kidnapped her and stolen her life ten years earlier. She stood and began screaming about how the other woman should be in jail, not sitting in the front row at a wedding.

Mystique calmly explained that she had been invited by default, as she was Emma's mother too. This caused Emma's mother to dive at the shape shifter with a scream, as her husband and Emma's brother and sister attempted to hold her back. The fight ended quickly when the loud bang of a gunshot was heard.

Everyone turned to see Wade holding a gun over his head, muzzle still smoking. They all stared at him for a moment, frozen in shock . " Everyone is gonna shut up and sit down! You will watch the wedding and like it, then you will go to the ballroom, and love our reception. At exactly 8:35 we will leave and then you can do whatever you want. Before that you need to just be quiet! We are now five minutes further behind than we were." Wade ranted.

He then put his gun away, turned back to his bride, and gestured for Kurt to continue. The remainder of the Wedding went without issue, and everyone was relieved to return to the house. Everyone filed inside politely, waiting for the wedding party to join them.

A moment later, the wedding party came in, Wanda and John first. Followed by Rogue and Remy, Kaitie, running forward to walk with them. Then, Jean and Logan. Finally, Wade and Emma stepped in and joined the others at the head table.

Everyone had eaten, and was dancing when the next interruption came, in the form of Mr. Sinister. He walked calmly into the ballroom, oversized brightly wrapped present in hand. At first, no one noticed him, until finally Jamie (who had snuck in moments before, to grab some food while everyone was distracted) spotted him.

" Hey! Who let the vampire in?" Jamie yelled, pointing at Sinister.

Everyone turned, and looked at Sinister, who had placed the gift on the table, and was now quietly attempting to get Kaitie's attention.

" Stay. Away. From. My. Daughter!" Remy ground out as he headed toward Sinister.

" I was simply attempting to say hello." Sinister replied, still looking at the toddler.

" You have no business here! Get out." Remy stated.

" ….I brought a present." Sinister replied.

" That doesn't give you an invitation!" Rogue yelled, having run over and snatched up her daughter.

" Yes it does. If you bring a gift, it's only polite to stay. Plus I was invited. By the father of the bride." Sinister stated.

" Sir, I do not know you." Emma's father stated, from his position behind Piotr.

" Not you. Her other father. Erik invited me yesterday."

" I did not. I simply stated in group that my step-daughter, Emma was getting married today."

" You also stated that any of who wanted to, could come. And since my daughter-in-law's sister was the one getting married, I came." Sinister reasoned.

" ….. You're not my father. Mystique is not Emma's mother. And you have no business at the wedding." Remy stated, getting angry over this whole thing once again.

" Yes I am." State Sinister and Mystique at the same time.

" No. You're not!" State Remy, Emma, and Rogue.

" Of course you're my daughter, Anna. I have papers. " Mystique stated calmly, before returning her attention to the others. Kurt, meanwhile, slipped silently from the room, hoping to avoid being noticed by his mother.

This worked, but only because she was so involved in the argument with her daughters. Logan, having enough of the drama, walked into the little group, and growled.

" That's it! I'm sick of all you people causing drama! This is a school! None of you are their parents, because none of you have ever taken care of em. None of ya have ever shown an interest in them, until all the raisin was done. I'm more their father than you all. Me and Chuck. But I wouldn't presume to call myself such. Being the kid's biological donor don't make ya the dad. And adoptin one don' make ya the mom. Get over it and get out!" Logan ranted.

An eerie calm befell the room following Logan's outburst. Secretly, Rogue had always considered Logan her father, yet she had never known for sure that he thought the same way. Remy was unaffected by the outburst for the same reason. As far as he was concerned, Logan was Rogue's dad. Wanda and John were simply shocked at Logan's rant, and the 'parents' were appalled at Logan's attack on their parenting skills.

A few moments later, some of the boys stepped forward to escort the uninvited guests out of the front gate. This however, was a mistake, because it reminded Logan that someone must have left the gate open. Again. For the fourth time today.

As they were all being 'escorted' out of the room, Sinister planted his feet in protest. The boys shoved against him as he yelled. " I do have the right to be here! None of this would have happened, if not for me!"

Somehow, of all the things Sinister could have said, this one worked. Everyone was confused, but somehow curious, about what Sinister had to say. Realizing that they were no long pushing, Sinister straitened his shirt, as he repeated. " That's right. I am the reason for all of this. All of it!"


	7. Sinister Confessions

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Seven_ **

**" _Sinister Confessions"_**

**_._**

" _That's right. I am the reason for all of this. All of it!"_ Somehow that one little sentence seemed to still everything in the room, no one, not even the infants, made a sound. Everyone was torn between curiosity and fear. What did he mean, he was the reason , all of what exactly?

Finally, deciding she could take no more excitement, Rogue asked hesitantly, " All of what?"

Sinister instantly brightened, straightening to his full height, he dust a piece of lint off of his dark grey suit ( they decided in group black reminded people that they were once villains) , then he smiled his brightest, and scariest, smile.

" Well." He began importantly," You all really owe me. Because Wade and Emma wouldn't be getting married if they hadn't met. They wouldn't have met if Logan hadn't become Headmaster, thus hiring more staff AND hadn't called Wade to help with Rogue's revenge. Rogue wouldn't have needed revenge, if the girls hadn't insulted her. The girls wouldn't have insulted her if she hadn't been Kaitlyn's mother. And She wouldn't have been Kaitlyn's mother if I hadn't borrowed Rogue and Gambit's DNA, created the child, delivered her, and then dropped her off on your doorstep."

This announcement took a moment to sink in. Everyone started blankly at Sinister for awhile. Finally, when the silence was beginning to get to John (again), Rogue broke the spell.

" But" she began. " Why?"

" Because I wanted my son to be happy. And he wanted to date you. But you were so stuck in the details of this 'kidnapping' and your 'powers'. I knew if I gave you a catalyst, you would gain control. And then you would be happy. I considered kidnapping you both, and placing you in an impossibly difficult situation that would force you to work together, thus forming an unbreakable bond. But then I realized. One. You already had an unbreakable bond, you just were being slow about it. And Two, Kidnapping would require handing back all of my good behavior chips."

Collectively, the X-men turned to Hank, who they knew could confirm or deny Sinister's claim. Hank cleared his throat. Placed his glasses on, stood calmly and stated… " Yes. It's true. Kaitlyn is Remy and Anna's daughter."

He then sat back down, removed his glasses and returned to his cake. With this Sinister smiled smugly, confident that they would all be extremely grateful to him, and possibly even invite him to stay! Therefore he was completely shocked when Remy turned to him and in a deep growl demanded he leave.

Deeply offended, Sinister stormed out. A moment later followed by the other guests. The residents of the mansion all began to head to bed as well, when Jamie finally asked a simple question.

" So wait. Is Kaitlyn adopted or not?" Jamie questioned.

" Yes." Remy stated simply.

" Why didn't you say anything? I mean did you just keep it to yourself, or did everyone else know?" Rogue asked, trying to decide if she should be mad.

" I knew. But he didn't tell me. I could smell it. That's why I handed Kaitlyn to you to begin with." Logan stated.

" I never revealed this to anyone. It didn't seem important. Plus I fear Logan's reaction if he knew. Apparently this fear was unfounded." Hank replied.

" PROOF! " John yelled suddenly. " This is the proof I needed. You kept stating that it couldn't be because she's adopted, but it turned out that not only is she adopted, but she's also yours. Now you have to admit that we are brothers."

" *sigh* John.. Never mind." Remy stated, simply.

After that Wade and Emma left. Then the adults all went to do their rooms or out depending on their evening schedule. Remy and Rogue headed to their room, to put their kids to bed, in silent agreement that they wouldn't mention Sinister's revelation until the babies were asleep.

After they had the kids tucked in, they had both had time to actually absorb this new information….and realize that it meant nothing to them. Kaitie had always been their daughter. They didn't need any paperwork or DNA to prove that to themselves.

On the other hand, keeping this from them clearly meant that they needed revenge! They hadn't gotten revenge in a long time. Clearly this was, in a way welcome news. At least for them. They set about planning said revenge right away. This was going to be fun. At least they thought so, their victims however, yeah they were going to suffer.

~o~O~o~

Julien and Jamie had come out of hiding, as mentioned, during the reception. They soon learned this may have been to soon, because Logan found them. So now they were standing in Tiny's pen, cleaning it out, while everyone else had the evening free. Plus apparently, they were going to have to help clean up the party tomorrow with everyone else.

They found this completely unfair. They were ignoring the fact that if they had done this earlier when they were told to, they would have the evening free as well. Instead they were stuck cleaning up after their dog. Who apparently recently decided that everything in her kennel was edible, and had chewed apart part of her doghouse, as well as various undetermined scraps . This stunk. Clearly they were being picked on for no real reason. However, Laura came out, just as Julien was feeling extremely angry, so now he was cool with the assignment, sort of. Okay not really, but he always liked hanging out with his girlfriend, so he was pretending to be. Jamie on the other hand, was still grumbling, as they worked. He mumbled something about 'Petra' and revenge, but neither of the other teens wanted to ask.

Afterwards, Logan came out to inspect the kennel. He gave his approval, and the boys quickly left before he could change his mind. They went upstairs, parting at Jamie's door, and said goodnight. Jamie went inside to plan his revenge. He thought about sic'ing Petra on Logan.

Petra was what he had named the petrified pizza under his bed. Originally he had placed it under there in an attempt to catch the Borrowers in the act. That plan hadn't worked. Jamie had tried to tell the teachers that Petra was alive, though they didn't believe him. Some of the other students did, however.

Julien, meanwhile, headed up to his room, where he quickly changed and climbed out the window, down the Trestle, and over the fence. He did his best thinking while on a walk. Tonight he had a lot to think about, because he was still confused on several events of the day. Including the drunk guy who had come to the wedding. Hadn't he met that guy before? He seemed familiar somehow. Like he was one of the teachers at some point or something.


	8. Revenge Part I

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Eight_ **

**" _Revenge Part I"_**

**_._**

Julian came up with, what was in his opinion, the perfect plan. He got the idea, really, from Jamie. Jamie had told him many, many stories about **_Before_**. Unfortunately, for both boys, Julian tended to stop listening part of the way through a story, thus generally missing the part where these things went wrong.

This time was no different, as he slipped out of Laura's room. He giggled to himself as he slipped into Jamie's room. He just had to tell someone what he had done. Jamie was sitting on his floor, in front of his bed with a pepperoni stick, trying to coax Petra out. So far it hadn't worked, but he was sure it would.

" Guess what." Julian stated,giggling.

" What?" Jamie replied, looking up.

" I just came up with the perfect revenge! Logan will have a stroke for sure! I mean, he'll recover, of course, but it's the perfect payback for Tiny's cage." Julian exclaimed, still giggling.

" What did you do?"

" I planted one of those tests from the medlab in Laura's room. You know the ones you told me about? That always turn positive. Logan's going to die when he finds it!" Julien stated.

" You what?!" Jamie exclaimed. " Sure Logan will die, when he find's it in his _**daughter's**_ room! And then so will you!"

" What?! Why?!" Julian stated sobering.

" One. Laura's Logan's daughter. Two you're Laura's boyfriend. Three if Laura's pregnant that means you-"

" CRAP! " Julian cut's Jamie off. He hadn't thought about that. This was bad. He had to get that test back before Logan went to take Laura out to breakfast, as he did every Saturday.

" Don't you ever listen to my stories. Before, when this happened, it went bad. Really bad. For everyone. No one ever figured out who had done it, but the only people in the house who didn't get trouble were Remy and Rogue, John and Wanda. And Remy, John, and Wanda didn't live here. Everyone assumed that Rogue didn't get pranked as well, because everyone's afraid of waking Kaitie. No one ever figured out who did it! Logan's still convinced it wasn't a prank at all." Jamie stated rapidly, before they walked out of Jamie's room.

Jamie really didn't want to sit through another ' okay we're testing everyone' afternoon. That had been horrible. Whoever it had been last time, was clearly a mastermind. Because clearly they planted one on themselves as well, so as to throw off suspicion. It had worked too.

No one had ever really considered the idea that Rogue had, in fact , planted the tests as part of a revenge scheme. This was rather foolish, because as stated, she was alone in not getting pranked, and also, Rogue loved revenge.

Julien tried, now, to think of who did it last time, because he needed advice on not getting caught, however it could be anyone…well anyone but the LeBeaus, because they were far too boring. Sure he'd heard Jamie's stories of before (at least in part.) However, he found it impossible to picture, them pranking anyone. They were to mature for that.

They had made it as far as the end of the hall, when two things happened. First, Jonothon came running around the corner white as a sheet, and second there was an ear piercing scream from Logan. Julien and Jamie turned and ran with Jonothon, down the stairs and straight into the woods.

Finally, when they reached the back fence, they paused to catch their breath. Slumping down against the wall, they each tried to think of what to do next. It occurred to Jamie that he was in the clear, and therefore could return to the school. However, they had been seen running through the house together, most likely because they had been screaming, so everyone would know he'd been with the others.

" So… how far behind you was Logan?" Jamie finally asked, have caught his breath.

" Logan?" Jonothon asked. " No Logan wasn't behind me."

" Then why were you running?" Julien asked, maybe it wasn't too late to get the test back after all.

" I-I found… I found a pregnancy test in Paige's room. " Jonothon began. "anditwaspositive."

" What?" Jamie asked.

" It. Was . positive. " Jonothon stated.

" PAIGE IS LAURA'S ROOM MATE!" Julien yelled, suddenly remembering this detail.

" Yes. Focus! Not everything is about you!" Jonothon stated.

" Wait! You mean you and Paige-" Julien began

" None of your business!" Jonothon replied.

" Yeah. You already confessed though." Julien replied with a laugh.

" Confessed to what?" Jamie asked.

" Never mind." The other two reply.

" Okay anyway. What are you going to name the baby? OH can I NAME THE BABY! I didn't get to name any of the other babies! PLEASE LET ME NAME THE BABY! It should be named, Sandy Witch Hunter." Jamie quickly stated.

"What!?" Jonothon asks as Julien laughed.

"I SAID SANDY WITCH HUNTER FIVE-THOUSAND! HE WILL RULE THE SEVEN SEAS!" Jamie said.

"What are you talking about?" Jonothon said

Jamie just simply shrugged.

"Alright then…what am I going to do?" Jonothon said

"Marry her?" Julian said

"WHAT! No, well I don't know . Maybe. That doesn't help with what to do!" Jonothon said

"Move to Mexico and start a new life as a hobo?" Julien said

"NO!" Jonothon said

"Pretend that it isn't yours?" Julian said.

"Are you guys trying to help me, or trying to annoy me?" Jonothon said

"I'd say a little bit of both, but mostly the annoy part." Julien said,with a shrug.

"No wait-I have a better name, Ken! Wait, wait listen Ken DOLL!" Jamie said

"Ken doll? Are you serious?" Jonothon said

"No. That would be a terrible name, if I ever had a child, I would name them Peace, so that their life would be full of happiness, and joyful laughter , and they will get everything they want from life and will be remembered in history." Both of the other boys stared at Jamie. "Hey it makes as much since as Tiny's name!" Jamie said

"Well that is true but Tiny isn't tiny." Julien said.

"Umm… Wait if that true then if the name Peace then then she or he would not be Peace it well…" Jamie said.

"Ya… Wait why we talking about tiny and Jamie's future baby name are?" Jonothon said.

"Umm…" Julien said.

"IF TINY ISN'T TINY PEACE ISN'T PEACEFUL THEN I'M NOT WHAT MY NAME IS AND JULIAN ISN'T WHAT HIS NAME IS JONOTHON ISN'T WHAT HIS NAME IS AND HANK ISN'T WHAT HIS NAME IS LOGAN IS-" Jamie said.

"Umm… You don't know maybe my name is true" Julien stated.

"Okay then…" Jonothon said.

"Umm… okay then so what are we talking about again?" Jamie asked.

"Umm… that Jonothon is going to be a daddy" Julian said.

"Why… Don't you Just say it isn't yours" Jamie said looking at Jonothon . " No wait! Scott tried that, he got in even more trouble. I think. I don't remember. Are you sure she's pregnant? She doesn't look at all fat."

" YOU GUYS ARE USELESS! I'M JUST MOVE AWAY TO SOMEWHERE FAR WAY!" Jonothon said.

"Ha Mexico is far way!" Julian said.

"Oh ya that is right…" Jonothon said.

A few minutes later, they all stood back up and brushed off their pants. Jamie decided that since Logan was mad at them, apparently he should go inside and pretend to know nothing. Julien silently decided that since Jonothon was willing to take the fall for this prank, he had nothing to worry about. Jonothon continued to muse over how to approach Paige with this subject, without admitting that he'd been snooping in her room. Also high on his list was why she hadn't told him yet, and what the BA psychos were going to do to him.


	9. Revenge Part II

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Nine_ **

**" _Revenge Part II"_**

**_._**

Logan had, in fact, been delayed heading up to take Laura to breakfast. During his shower, he had washed his hair…. Then screamed in pain, as someone had replaced his shampoo with peroxide. Then he had leapt from the shower, only to notice blond streaks in his hair. So by the time he went to collect his daughter, he was wearing at hoodie, and in a terrible mood.

Logan passed Remy in the hall, who immediately asked " Why are you wearing a hoodie?"

" I'm cold." Logan grumbled.

" It's 89 degrees in here." Remy reasoned.

" So."

" Are you trying to hide a grey hair? Did you find grey?" Remy said, pulling down Logan's hoodie.

Remy stared at Logan's blond streaks for a moment, before stating " You know Logan, you're supposed to dye the same color as your natural hair. Blond doesn't blend."

I didn't dye it." Logan growled, pulling his hood back up.

" So what happened?" Remy asked with a smirk.

" Fine. Someone pranked me. They put something in my shampoo. I think it may have been the Js. They were mad about the cage thing." Logan grumbled, as he crossed his arms.

" Little brats. You want me to hunt them up?" Remy asked, sounding irritated.

" No. I'm takin Laura to breakfast first." Logan replied, as he headed back toward the stairs.

Remy then headed to breakfast himself, content that yet another revenge prank would go without a hitch. Luckily, Logan was aware of other people's wrath, but seemed oblivious to his and Rogue's.

Logan made his way to Laura's room, where Laura met him outside the door looking a little flustered. She had found the test a few minutes ago, and was determined to keep Paige from getting caught before she was ready to tell anyone. Therefore Laura put it back exactly where she found it, sticking partly out of the waste basket, and went out to meet her father.

Normally, Logan would have noticed Laura's agitated state, however, he was occupied with the condition of his hair. What if it fell out!? Because Chuck had been in charge of teenagers for years and he was bald. Although, that may not have been the reason, he had never asked.

They headed down to the garage, Laura relieved he hadn't asked why she had been blocking her door, and Logan relieved she hadn't asked about his hair. So they both missed Paige walking into her room. She however, noticed Laura's pale face, and Logan's scowl. Paige was in the room for less than a minute before spotting the test, which was sticking out of the can in easy sight.

_No wonder they both looked so upset!_ Paige thinks, looking at the test. _I wonder if she's had the chance to tell Julian. Well I'm not telling him. He freaks over everything._

Just then, the house shook to Beast's roar. Everyone ran in the direction of his room, Paige dropping the test on a hall table along the way. Everyone still in the house gathered around Beast's door, as Remy and John played Paper, Rock, Scissors to decide who had to go in.

John lost, so he slowly crept into the room, as a second roar sounded from the en suite. John hesitantly peeked around the corner…and burst out laughing. He couldn't help it! The sight of Hank with purple and blond streaks all over his fur was too much.

Hank, obviously, was less amused by the situation. Especially when as he rubbed his arm with the towel and a clump of his fur fell out. Roaring for a third time, he turned to John, demanding to know who had done this.

John laughed harder still, as he answered that he didn't know but that whoever it was ,was great. Hank, still not seeing the humor of this situation, threw John out of his room. Everyone slowly headed back to their previous activities, Paige having completely forgotten where she had left the test.

Lorna, however found it a few minutes later. She stared at it wide eyed before glancing first at Illyana and Jessica's door, then at Sarah and Megan's wondering which of the girls' it could belong to. With a shrug, because she didn't want to start any trouble, she threw it into the waste basket, under an empty package, in the girls' hall bathroom.

She then went in search of the four other girls, completely missing her roommate, Cessily, curiously watch her walk away, before retrieving the test herself. She then hid the test in her pocket, and left the bathroom, intent on hiding and disposing of it better, so that no one would find it.

Lorna found the girls she had been looking for altogether, on the patio. There was no one else around, so she sat down with them, before casually asking. " So has anyone taken any interesting tests lately?" Judging by the confused and not guilty expressions on the others faces, she decided that it had been none of them. Satisfied, she stood and walked away, in search of the guilty party.

Cessily carefully looked around, and seeing no one casually threw a small paper bag in the dumpster next to the garage, not noticing it bounce back out as she walked away. She then headed upstairs to 'question' her roommate.

Meanwhile, Roxy, who had been hiding behind the garage, because Mr. Drake had been looking for her to make her take a make up test. She saw the way Cessily had been behaving when she threw the bag away. Clearly it contained something she didn't want anyone to see. So of course, Roxy opened the bag.

Wide-eyed, Roxy stared at the test. Cessily was pregnant? But, Roxy didn't know she'd even been seeing anyone! Before she could think further, she heard Logan's engine. This made her run toward the house, forgetting the bag in her hand, until she'd made it to her room.

Realizing to late, that she still had the bag, and not wanting to go back outside when Mr. Drake may be looking there, Roxy stuffed the bag under her bed, then pretended to be asleep.

~o~O~o~

Hank met Logan at the door, fury still clear in his face, and missing several clumps of fur. Laura slipped past them as they began discussing who was mad at them both. They had it narrowed down to a handful of people, mostly students, who they had angered that week. Neither had put Remy or Rogue on the list, assuming the lack of anger last night meant that the couple had been fine with their secret-keeping.

Remy, meanwhile, was happily reporting to his wife how well their prank had gone, and she decided to see for herself. So she then strapped Oli in his carrier, and Kaitie in her stroller, to take them for a walk. As she approached the front door, she saw both men still standing there. She casually walked up to them, and attempted to excuse herself, before 'seeing' Hank's fur.

" Oh my God! Hank what happened?!" Rogue asked wide-eyed, pointing to a missing clump of fur.

" Apparently one of the youngsters has decided to prank Logan and me. I have no idea which one at this point." Hank replied, as Logan shook his head.

" Logan? What did they do to Logan?" Rogue asked, before turning to the other man, and pulling down his hood.

" Wow! What's wrong with those kids, anyway? Logan your hair's blond! Oh No! I think I see a bald spot too!" Rogue stated, causing Logan to rush to his room, and his mirror.


	10. The Test's Journey

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

**_Chapter Ten_**

** " _The Test's Journey"_**

**.**

Roxy went downstairs for lunch, having actually fallen asleep, she forgot about the bag under her bed. Instead she was focused on getting to and from the kitchen without Mr. Drake catching her. She had been gone for about ten minutes when her roommate, Laurie, came in .

Laurie sighed deeply before she began to clean up. Weekly room inspection was in about an hour, and Roxy's side was trashed, as usual. Laurie found the paper bag sticking half out from under Roxy's bed. Laurie went to shove it back under, and accidentally knocked it over, spilling the contents. Shocked, Laurie quickly shoved the test back into the bag and put it on the bookshelf, next to several other similar bags that contained her science experiment, regarding decomposition of vegetables.

She then went back to cleaning, still shocked at the idea of Roxy pregnant. One thing was for sure, she needed to throw that bag away before room inspection. With this in mind, Laurie finished making the beds and started out of the room, bag in hand, as Illyana knocked on the door.

" Hello. I was needing the project to record the data." Illiyana stated when Laurie opened the door.

" Oh sure, no problem. I just have to take this trash out, go ahead and grab the bags." Laurie replied, gesturing to the bookshelf. Illyana agreed, and Laurie headed out to the dumpster. Illyana grabbed the bags off of the shelf, and dropped them off in her room on her way to lunch. As she set them down, she accidentally knocked one over, and out spilled the test. She spotted it and shoved it back into the bag.

Illyana was halfway down the stairs before it registered what it was she saw in the bag. She froze on the stairs, undecided. Wait! Laurie's test was positive. And where were their carrots. Also, Laurie was pregnant!

She was about to head back upstairs, but Julien and Jamie were right behind her, and they tended to be nosey, so it would be best to wait until she could slip away to destroy the evidence against Laurie. This was bad.

~o~O~o~

Logan and Hank were hiding in Logan's office, in a 'meeting'. They were actually researching dye on the internet, trying to find a way to fix their hair. Remy's comment gave Logan an idea, so he was looking up dyes, trying to decide which would work to fix their problem.

He learned quickly, that his own hair wasn't going to be hard to match. Hank however, was going to take some work. Because blue isn't considered a natural color. Finally he decided that they may need help. However, he didn't want everyone to know about his hair.

A few minutes later, Wanda and John stood before him, next to Remy and Rogue. Rogue had called Wanda to help, after reminding Logan that her white streak was _**not**_ dye. Wanda, on the other hand, did dye her hair. As did John.

" I need ya to help us with some hair dye issues." Logan stated.

" What happened?" Wanda asked, cranky because her nap was interrupted.

Reluctantly, Logan lowered his hood. Wanda and John stared for a moment trying not to laugh. They failed in this attempt.

" Logan, I know it's got to be freaky, but dying the grey white doesn't cover it up." John stated.

" You need to use black dye to cover grey." Wanda added.

" That's what I told him." Remy supplied.

" I. was. Pranked." Logan grounds out. The others quickly sobered at his tone.

Staring critically at Beast's fur, Wanda 'hmmd' several times, circling him slowly. Finally she said. " Well. I don't know about the bald spots. But as far as the color goes, we could pick up some blue dye in the mall. "

" Good. Wanda, Rogue. I need you to go to the mall and pick up as much blue dye as you will need. Pick up my black dye while you are at it." Logan grumbled, still irritated over their jokes.

" Wait, I have to finish room inspections first." Rogue stated.

" Good. I want to know who did this." Logan stated.

~o~O~o~

Jessica came in to their room. She flopped onto her bed, intent on reading another chapter of her new book, but accidentally kicked over a couple of Illyana's bags. She quickly scooped the potatoes and put them back, then the corn. However the third bag contained the test.

It actually made sense to her to hide it amongst those bags before room inspection. However, what would happen if Laurie came in for the experiment and grabbed this bag on accident. Thinking quickly, Jessica grabbed the bag and left the room. She had to get rid of the test somehow. Because Illyana's brother would flip out if he learned this via room inspection.

Spotting Rogue, who had just left Sarah's room, and was walking away from her, Jessica darted into her sister's room. Sarah was sitting on her bed when Jessica ran in, wild-eyed and panicking. Sarah started to ask what was wrong, but Jessica shoved the bag at her.

" Hold this, I'll explain later. Mrs. LeBeau was already in here right?" Jessica stated, Sarah nodded, and Jessica ran back out. Curious, Sarah looked into the bag, before heading out in search of her sister, leaving the bag on her bed. The test slid out as the bag tipped over, and was sitting plainly where anyone could see it.

Jessica ran back to her room, arriving just in time to walk Mrs. LeBeau in. Their room passed, as it did every week, and the teacher headed out for the last room, Paige and Laura's. Sarah came in a moment later, and waited calmly for Jessica to explain. The explanation, however, would wait because Illyana came in right then, and noticing the missing bag, assumed that Roxy had returned for it. Sighing with relief, she laid on her bed, ignoring the other girls, intent on taking a nap.

Although Rogue knew that she wouldn't find the evidence during room inspection, she looked anyway. Just in case Logan came by to see if she'd found it. Remy was doing the same over on the boys' side. Rogue found the girls' behavior very odd this afternoon. They were darting from room to room, most with guilty expressions on their faces. Clearly they were up to something, so she decided to look around for what it could be. If it was another dog she was freaking out. Seriously, she meant it.

Megan returned to her room a few minutes after Sarah left, just from the shower. She spotted the test right away, and as everyone else had done today, she assumed it was her roommate's. She, like the rest, decided to hide the evidence and slipped the test into the pocket of her robe, before heading out to get rid of it.

Megan ran into Ruth in the hall, literally. They both yelped, and stood back up, as Megan rushed down the hallway, she yelled an apology. As she turned the corner, Ruth spotted the test. She picked it up, and froze when she saw the result window. However, Mrs. LeBeau was still up here somewhere, so she shoved it in her own pocket and darted into her room, intent on getting rid of it as soon as possible.

Ruth slid the test from her pocket into her drawer as sneakily as possible, before rushing back out of the room, to ensure that the teachers had left the floor before attempting to get rid of it. She was distracted, therefore she didn't notice that her roommate was sitting at her desk, dong homework.

Hope, on the other hand, noticed Ruth's behavior, she went and looked in the drawer as soon as Ruth left the room. Gasping at the results, and realizing that Ms. Rogue was being extra picky this week, for some reason, she ran to the girls' bathroom, and threw it in the trash, covering it quickly with paper towels, then went in search of the other girls.

Rhane had been washing her hands, and not really hard to notice, though Hope seemed to have missed her. Rhane went to throw her own towel away, pretty much ignoring what had just happened. After all in this house, someone was always acting weird. She saw the test, and it's results as she threw her towel in.

Rhane shrugged, it was really none of her business. She left the restroom, just as Hisako entered. Hisako, of course, noticed the test when she threw her own towel away a bit later, however, unlike most of the previous discoverers, she did not assume it belonged to the last girl she saw. In fact, she had no clue which girl, or teacher, it could belong to.

However, she also knew that this could cause a total meltdown from the teachers if it was found, so she sneak it out and downstairs, intending to be rid of it. Ms. Monroe caught her in the foyer, however, and sent her to help clean up the ballroom.

She had just moved the last of the wedding gift into Mr. and Mrs. Wilson's room, and was back to her original journey, when she realized that the test had fallen out of her pocket at some point. Worried, but not wanting to be caught searching for an item that could get you in that much trouble, she decided to pretend that she had never seen it. That could work, right?


	11. Pranked! Again

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

_**Chapter Eleven**_

"_**Pranked! Again."**_

As Julian's prank had gone badly, in the form of it was never sprung on Logan, he decided that he still needed to get Logan for the cage. Though he had been grateful, in hindsight, that Logan hadn't found the test; because that would have gone very, very badly.

Julian walked calmly down the hallway, attempting to think of a way to get to Logan, without dying himself. He now realized that consulting Jamie may be necessary. Jamie however, was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in resignation, Julian decided to see if he could find another partner in crime. Oh wait! Maybe he could talk Laura into helping him. Then he would get to both hang out with his girlfriend and get his revenge.

~o~O~o~

Twenty minutes later, Jamie found Julian and Laura giggling in Jamie's room.

" Hey, what are you guys doing in here? You better not have upset Petra." Jamie exclaimed.

" Relax. We are in here so we can see better, without being seen." Julian replied, while Laura nodded and giggled.

" What did you do?" Jamie asked. " This better not be as stupid as your last prank, and mffm" Julian had jumped up and grabbed Jamie covering his mouth before Jamie could reveal his last prank.

" Shh. No one knows." He whispered.

"So what are you doing?" Jamie asked, peering out his window.

"Salesmen. We called twenty-three Salesmen and asked for demonstrations." Julien replied. " Everything from cleaning products to timeshares."

"NO! This IS as bad as the last one! Do you know how much he bought from them!? DO YOU KNOW how long he would preach about the upcoming Salesmen Apocalypse!? DO YOU KNOW!? Do you ever listen? He bought pet stain removing steam cleaners.. THREE FREAKIN' TIMES! He bought seven Baby Bullets, before Kaitlyn, and FOUR AFTERWARDS! WHY THE HECK DO YOU THINK THE HOME SHOPPING CHANNEL IS BLOCKED!Oh no, oh no! He used to call it SMA that's right! HE USED A SHORTENING! He's still believes it's coming. I have to hide, if you think BA is bad you have NEVER seen SMA!" Jamie yelled hiding under his bed. "STOP BITTING ME PETRA!" They could hear Jamie yell from under the bed.

"I doubt that's true, it's Jamie, don't worry about it." Laura said calmly.

Julien simply shrugged it off and waited for the Salesmen. Fifteen minutes all of them showed up, one knocking on the door.

They then heard Rhane scream. "Mr. Logan, the Salesmen are back!"

They then heard a rushing to the door. "NO! WHO LEFT THE GATE OPEN!? WHO LEFT THE GATE OPEN! Sorry but we don't-wait is that a cookie maker? I'll take twelve. Oh and a flower vase. Look, wow, those knives are supposed to cut through anything that could be handy! Hey that stuff's supposed to clean everything! and a-"

Five minutes later he had everyone bring in the stuff first( He had not sent any away without buying from them…Even the Avon lady), and then called a meeting.

~o~O~o~

Logan stood before the assembled school. He began setting up the SMA charts, something many had never seen, and those who had, had intentionally forgotten. At the sight of the charts, Kitty began screaming, and Rogue crying. This frightened the students, and their husbands ( who all whom were fortunate enough to have missed this lecture before.)

After the women had calmed down, Logan began. " The End..has come. The Salesmen Apocalypse has arrived. Thanks to the thoughtlessness of one of you assembled here, they were able to get in. THEY ARE LIKE VALUTURES! Once they find the weak point in your defense they will continue to come! Twenty-three got in this afternoon, TWENTY-THREE! I've NEVER seen an infestation this bad. We are fortunate, that the Salesmen plaque has been nearly irradiated, as evidenced by the shutting down of the Home Shopping Channel, however, if they find a foothold, they will multiply! AND then we will have to beat them back again! They know where we are now, it may be time to consider abandoning the school and reforming it elsewhere! They will tell the others of their kind, and they will come. This is nearly as bad as the time the construction crew left the gate open, and the pizza men learned where we were. BUT salesmen are more persistent! THEY hypnotize you into thinking you need their products, by the time they've let you've bought TWELVE COOKIE MAKERS! That reminds me, we have somehow come into our possession of several cookie makers, someone needs to make cookies later. ANYWAY! We must prepare. We need to fortify the gate, set sentries on the road, and in the grounds, increase security, and hide the checkbooks! You all know what you must do, (he says pointing to the original X-men) explain it to the others and get ready! I'm going to look on-line to see if we can afford to move."

With this Logan stepped down, and walked out of the room, to the shocked silence followed him.

Julien whispered to Jamie " I should start listening to you."

" AHHHHH! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!" Jamie yelled, before leaving the room.

~o~O~o!

Wanda and Rogue, once away from the meeting, learned that they were okay with the idea of moving. Moving so far away that their parents didn't know where to find them. So, they went to the mall to buy Logan's hair dye, while everyone else freaked out.

Meanwhile, Xavier had woken from his afternoon nap, and had been briefed on the situation. He then insisted on a staff meeting. After the staff was assembled, and they noted that four were missing, Xavier began. " I have just learned of this disheartening event that occurred this afternoon. We have, once again, been discovered by the salesmen. We have already had to relocate twice before, due to this plaque, thankfully, not in your time here. However, I am unsure if we can finance another move at this time. We must find a way to work it into the budget."

" Maybe we can find it in the budget, if we were to cut out all extracurriculars. We don't really need three hundred channels, or a trip to Washington this month. I'd hate to do it, in the face of this event, but we could shut down the Danger room for now, that would reduce our energy bill by ninety percent." Logan suggested, temporarily handing the reins back to Xavier. Xavier had saved them before from this crisis before.

" Maybe we could ask Remy's people for a loan." Kitty suggested.

A collective "NO!" sounded through out the room, as Remy prepared to jump from the window at the idea. Of course, that had just been a knee-jerk reaction, as they were on the ground floor. But Kitty got the point.

" I could pay for it." John stated after a moment of silence. "Remy could help, too."

" You have no idea how much a move like this would cost. We are thankful for the offer, but you can't move a school on a teachers salary, and-" Xavier began.

" We can afford it." Remy stated. " We work here because we like to, not because we need to."

" Wait, how much are we talking about here?" Kitty asked.

" More than enough. Completely legal. Even more, not so legal." Remy replied, simply.

" Okay, begin searching for a new location. In the mean time, as soon as Rogue and the Scarlet Witch return, shut down the school. Defcon Three." Xavier stated.


	12. The end is upon us

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

_**Chapter Twelve**_

"_**The end is upon us"**_

Mystique had arrived, during the meetings, to drop off Wanda's second kitten, as well as a kitten for Emma. She, therefore, was unaware of the Salesmen incident. However, as she was dropping off Emma's kitten, she located the test. It was sitting in the pile of wedding gifts, in a pile of tissue paper. So Mystique assumed that Emma had told Wade about their upcoming arrival.

Not wanting to be overheard, and possibly ruining the couple's announcement, she left just before they activated the shut down. When she got home, she quickly took an inventory of the remaining kittens. One, an orange tabby, was slated for Pietro. Aswell as a grey one, for her son, Graydon's daughter. That left a calico and a black one. Undecided, she called Wade's cell phone to get his opinion

" Hello, Wade. This is your mother-in-law, Raven. " Mystique stated, when Wade answered, grumply.

" …Who?" Wade responded.

" Raven. Mystique." Mystique answered. " That's unimportant at the moment. I just needed to ask a quick question, then I'll let you get back to your celebration."

" What?" Wade demanded, very irritated, and wondering how she got this number.

" Well. I have a calico, and a black kitten, both female. Which would you prefer for the new baby?" Mystique questioned.

" …What new baby?" Wade asked.

" Emma's new baby, of course. I saw the test when I dropped of Megan's kitten earlier."

" Emma's not pregnant. *phone muffled while he asked Emma* No she's not pregnant." Wade stated. There was a long pause, before Wade screamed. " I WAS GONE LESS THAN A DAY AND THE BABY APOCOLPSE BEGAN?! HOW CAN THEY HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! THAT'S IT, WE ARE ON OUR WAY HOME NOW, DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO THEM. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS!" Wade continued to rant, however, Mystique hung up at this point.

Apparently, one of those students had hidden the test in Emma's room, most likely so that Logan wouldn't find it. However, unless it was Lorna, it had no effect on her. Perhaps she should return to the pet store, in case it was Lorna. You can never have enough kittens after all, or enough grandchildren.

~o~O~o~

Julien considered, briefly, confessing to his prank. He hated moving, packing bugged him. However, true to his promise he consulted Jamie before heading down to Logan's office. Apparently, judging by the way Jamie attacked him and screamed what he wasn't sure were even words, that may be a bad idea.

So now he was trying to pack, with his lights on, because the steel window barriers made it pitch black in his room, when the next crisis struck. Logan had sent Jean in to pack for the Wilsons. She, like Mystique, found the test.

Unlike Mystique, however, she immediately suspected the student hiding. So of course, she immediately took the test to Logan. His scream could be heard throughout the grounds, before the BA alarm sounded.

Everyone in the house knew that this meant that they had to immediately assemble in the emergency meeting room. Every girl in the house knew the test had been found, and felt bad for the girl they assumed it had belonged to. Julien however, attempted to find a way to jump off the roof ( he couldn't get to the roof while in lock down). Jonothon hid in his closet.

" We have been dealt the most gruesome of blows. Both Apocalypses have begun, in a single day." Logan began, Xavier gladly turning control back over to him." The end, is upon us! We can handle one or the other, but not both. This is indeed a bad tiding, for them both to occur today. Nearly on top of each other. Clearly, you children have far too much freedom, despite our attempts to maintain order. THERE MUST BE ORDER! How could you have done this? I highly suspect the one who did THIS, is also reasonable for SMA! Today has been the worse day in history, today we have been doomed! We are all doomed and you know it! Why have you been so foolish? Well if you are so smart, and you know how to use 'protection' hey FYI the best way not to get pregnant is NOT TO HAVE SEX! HAS THAT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU!? NOT TO HAVE SEX? WELL THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! THE WORLD IS NOT CENTERED AROUND YOU! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAVE SAID IN THE BINDERS, AND CHARTS AND, AND HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE BOOK! THIS IS A TRUE OUTRAGE! WHY ARE TEENAGERS FOOLISH!? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FULL OF MORONS! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO US! WE ARE ALL DOOMED! D. O. O. M. E. D! OH WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND GET PREGNANT, AND DO DRUGS, OH I HAVE A GREAT IDEA, WHY DON'T YOU GO SPEND ALL OUR FUNDS ON CANDY AND COMIC BOOKS, AND, WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS!? LET'S JUST OPEN THE BANNED LIST AND START WATCHING IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M A TEENAGER AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE RULES! YOU ARE ALL FOOLS! FOOLS! FOOLISH FOOLS! WHY DON'T I GO GET MYSELF KILLED, OH I SHOULD GO WAKE UP APOCALYPSE AND DANCE AROUND WITH HIM BECAUSE I'M A TEENAGE GIRL WHO'S FOOLISH AND DON'T CARE ABOUT THE REST OF THE WORLD BECAUSE I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE! YOU. ARE. NOT. THE. CENTER. OF. THE. UNIVERSE. AND. YOU. WILL. NEVER. BE. THE. CENTER. OF. THE. UNIVERSE! OH LALA, I AM SO STUPID, I'M JUST A USELESS TEENAGE IDIOT! LALA, I AM AN IDIOT! LALA. OH, OH I SHOULD GO GET THE SKATE BOARDS AND START RIDING THEM UP THE STARIES SO I CAN CRACK MY SKULL AND DIE! I AM SO HAPPY, SO HAPPY, SO HAPPY TONIGHT BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF! ARE YOU TRULY HAPPY ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO US ALL? WELL THEN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST CRACK YOU SKULLS AND DIE! I don't know which of you children foolishly placed us in this peril, but I want you all to look around. Do it! Look at your classmates, your teachers, and these innocent little babies, and think about the fate you have brought to them with your selfishness. I will give you five minutes to step forward. If you are unwilling to confess then we will be forced to retest you all."

Logan then stepped down, and calmly walked out of the room, followed by the teachers and their children. As soon as the door closed the real chaos began.


	13. Pranks revealed

ABS9

**Teenagers, Babies**

**and Wedding cakes**

The Babysitting Universe, book Nine

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

_**" Pranks revealed"**_

Chaos descended on the room, as girls began accusing each other of being the guilty party, while the boys stare wide-eyed, and Julien does his best to appear confused. Jamie watches with growing irritation, as everyone turns on each other, as the real culprit, of both scenarios, remained silent. _" He probably caused whatever happened to Dr. McCoy as well."_ Jamie thinks.

" You should just confess, after all, Father will be far calmer once he knows who is guilty.

" I'm _**not**_. You are! I saw it in our room, and got rid of it, to avoid you getting in trouble!"

" I_** saw**_ you throw it away!"

" You handed it _**to**_ me!"

" I am not!"

These cries could be heard from all over the room, all the while, the boys turning paler and paler, and Jamie growing more angry.

Finally, after about three minutes of this, when Jamie could take no more, he stood and announced. " Stop it! All of you. No one is pregnant, well except for Mrs. LeBeau and Mrs. Allerdyse. Julien planted the test in Laura's room, to get revenge on Logan! AND when that didn't work, he opened the gate and called the salesmen!" Jamie then sat down, satisfied that Julien would get what was coming to him.

" You did _**what?!**_" Laura began, breaking the silence.

" ummm, I'm sorry?" Julien replied.

"_**What**_ is wrong with you?!" Paige demanded.

" Oh thank God, I was so worried." Jonothon muttered.

" You what? Why?!" Paige yelled.

" Umm." Jonothon began.

" Focus!" Laura growled. " We deal with _**him**_ first!"

The teachers were all standing outside, patently waiting for the five minutes to be up, when, four minutes in, they hear the shrill screams of a girl.

" Crap! We can't let em hurt the pregnant one!" Logan declared.

The other teachers nod, and they rush into the room, the women staying near the door with the babies, while the men start pulling the pile away from whoever it is. They were shocked to see not only the girls, but the boys, aside from Jamie in the pile. Jamie stood next to them, screaming, but none paid attention at first, to what he was saying.

Finally Bobby pulled of Rhane ( in wolf form) from the body, to reveal… Julien. Shrieking madly, Jamie clapped , twice, and then jumped on Julien. Bobby sighed and began pulling Jamies off, an near impossible task, as he kept getting jostled. While Laura, calmed slightly stood to the side.

" We discovered that Julien stold one of the tests from Hank's lab, and planted it in my room. As an act of revenge on my father. Paige assumed that you had already seen the test ( the girls had discussed this during the beating) and then attempted to dispose of it. It was misplaced when Dr. McCoy screamed. He also opened the gate, and allowed the sales men in." She reported calmly.

" He _**called**_ the salesmen! AND ruined your hair!" one of the Jamies yelled.

" What is going on in here? We can't allow this form of violence in the school an-" Hank began as he walked in.

" Julien did your hair." Rogue stated from the doorway.

" Proceed." Hank growled as another clump fell off his arm.

Julien, however, finally managed to wiggle away from the Jamies and stood, swaying and with a bloody nose. He slowly backed towards the farthest wall, trying to find an escape route from the crazy people, when it explodes.

Wade calmly stepped through as the smoke cleared. Emma standing behind him, Megan on her hip.

" Sorry. I couldn't seem to open the door." Wade stated, as he set down the grenade launcher.

" I received a call this afternoon, and returned immediately. I'm not sure if you have been made aware yet, but the baby apocalypse has begun. Now this may be an overreach, I didn't have my calculator on me, however, if the next generation is indeed starting, then we are all doomed. I think we need to begin preparations, and why are there like thirty men out front with boxes? What happened to Julien's face and Hank's fur? LOGAN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!" Wade stated.

" NOOOOO!" Xavier screeched, diving out of his chair, and onto Julien , Julien having fallen right next to him in the blast. " You have doomed us all! They KNOW where we are now. It's tooo laaaaate!"

Xavier is pounding on Julien's chest and stomach while pinning him down. After a minute, Logan calmly pulled Xavier off, offering him some tea,and shushing him.

As everyone begins to calm again, Xavier bursts into tears stating " It's all his fault, now we shall have to move again. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a way to move my collection of two dozen wheel chairs? Or how expensive it is to wrap up all the antiques and their displayed replicas? ( Remy nudged John whispering ' Told ya they were fakes'). This is horrible! I'm not sure we should allow Instigator to join us in the move."

" So, what was it you were worried about?" Paige questioned her boyfriend, as he gulped and ran out of the hole. Before she could follow, the salesmen found the opening.

"NOOOOOO!" Logan screamed. As they began talking all at once, before pulling out his checkbook. A moment later Wade pulled him protesting from the room, having only been able to purchase twenty new touch lights.

The teachers then begin herding the salesmen out of the school with an array of " No thank yous" and " We already have thems". They progress was slow, as herding salesmen is similar to herding cats. They will break away from the crowd of other salesmen, to attempt to pitch their wares at straggling household members. Finally, however, they manage to get them all out of the house, most past the gate, and a few down the street. They then close the front gate, placing Storm as a sentry. She gladly let loose a thunder clap whenever a salesman came to close to the fence, as they milled around the gate.

Wade and Remy searched the woods, looking for any stray salesmen, and Rogue and Wanda stood at the hole, spoons in hand. John, knowing his and Remy's budgets, sat with Xavier and Logan searching for a new home.

Piotr and Warren began boarding up the hole left by Wade. While the others began cleaning up. They turned off the security grid, finding it pointless to run with a huge hole in the wall, and sentries standing by.

After a little while, when sweeping a pile a debris, Emma remembered something important. Abandoning the broom to Rhane, she first rushed to her room, then to Logan's office.

" I had forgotten, nearly." Emma rushed out, breathless, from running. " We don't need to buy a new school. My grandfather left me a campus in Snow Valley, Massachusetts. It's perfect! Two completely separate buildings for girls and boys, several training buildings, plus best of all. It's twenty minutes from the closest town."

Relieved that they had a solution to their problem, including villains and in-laws, they went to go tell everyone to pack. They were moving to Snow Valley.

_**The End**_


End file.
